I desire an exhausted life. One sold out for God, my husband, and this child within me. I, however, refuse on a daily basis to live a busy life. God provided manna for the Israelites; just enough for each day He provided. On the sixth day, God provided a double portion. He gave to the Israelites enough for that day and the next, and told them to use the following day not for gathering manna, but to rest.

I don't need to be busy in order to attain provisions. God provides, that is sure and I am confident in that provision. He provides even enough to allow us rest. Not only does He allow it, He commands it. He knows we need it.

I desire an exhausted life. At the end, I wish to look back and see that I was completely poured out, empty to the point that I am no more. If one were to look at me, I hope they see not myself, but an emptied vessel. God works when we are empty, desolate and dry. He cannot work when we are full of ourselves--puffed up by our "productivity".

The tiny kicks in my abdomen throughout the day are a welcome reminder of my inadequacy. I cannot love enough, I cannot offer enough grace, I cannot claim enough wisdom, and my servant's heart is lacking. I offer my all to God by offering only myself to Him. Not my efforts. Not my sacrifices. Not my energies. I offer me by inviting Him to show up inside of me. Use me, because I cannot offer anything but this empty clay pot. Mold me, and fill me to overflowing with Your love and grace, because You alone are enough.